Ahhh. so I havent had much time to update, between school deadlines, work schedules, training times and mad partying I havent had much time to myself!
This diet might be killing my soul. Actually. I take two days, TWO, to not write in a journal (because I am currently between notebooks) and I gain 4 lbs!!! That is cruel punishment! And its hard on my confidence.... It makes me doubt myself, in not only this but my entire life. Like if I cant accomplish this one thing, the one thing I want more than anything else in the entire world, how on earth am I going to become a business owner or an even better pitcher when those things are second to this.
I had an intense emotional convo with a friend last night, he doesnt know this but I cried, for him and me and her. I hate going to bed after something like that, cause i wake up the next day and I'm still miserable (mind you I doubt running on four hours of sleep helps either). And I feel like disgusting this morning cause i ate some nachos last night. I dont even think I like them that much anymore... its just a comfort thing for me now. And I wish I could break the habit. Ugh....
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